Tuesday, October 3, 2017

Untangle Biblical and Worldly Perspectives

So many issues!

So many opinions!

So many quarrels!

One thing in common: Biblical and Worldly perspectives all tangled up.

It is impossible to come to an agreement when people are debating two totally different things.

One person shares based on their life experiences and rocks are thrown because it is not someone else's life experience. Two different perspectives trying to become one...impossible.

The people throwing rocks want everyone to see their point of view, but won't give the same grace. They think the other is just plain wrong. Two different perspective trying to become one...impossible.

What does the Bible say?
Philippians 2:3 "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather in humility value others above yourself, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others." Sometimes this looks like keeping your mouth shut or your fingers off the 'post' button. Sometimes this is not sharing gossip. There is no BUT or IF at the end of this statement in Philippians as the world would have you think.

What does the world say?
If the person or group has the same view I have, I will look out for the interest of those in the group. I will promote the group, protect the group and share the group...if they have the same view I do. The first amendment even protects people to do the exact oppose it of Philippians 2:3 if you think about it!

What does the Bible say?
2 Timothy 2:23 "Have nothing to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels." There is not a BUT or IF. Actually, in vs. 24 it says, "but be kind to everyone." It does not say only if they agree with you.

What does the world say?
I have the right to shout my view as loud as I want, not thinking of anyone else. I don't get what I want or people to listen unless I am loud and sometimes even violent.

What does the Bible say?
Galatians 5:22-23 "The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." There is not an IF in this scripture.

What does the world say? Only love if I am getting something in return. Only have joy if things are going my way or I have money. Peace only happens when things are going my way. Patience is nonsense. Kindness gets you no where. Goodness is different for everyone and it is good if it feels good, looks good or tastes good. Why be faithful?  Gentleness is weakness. There is no need to deny myself anything or be self-controlled.

When someone has an issue with a Biblical truth, I immediately discern if their opposition comes from them filtering their response through their imperfect life and worldly situations.

Training your mind to think with an eternal mindset is hard work and intentional.

Determine where your mind goes when it wanders. When you think about issues, are you tangling Biblical and worldly perspectives together?

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

5 Areas to Surrender for Less Stress

Stress is so prevalent in in the world. Just look at the statistics about the soaring number of people who medicate themselves just to get through the responsibilities of their day. Pressure to be perfect, be liked, be heard, get more money, be available at work 24/7, have a relationship, on and on until people snap. And this is just one dreary day people have to start over again tomorrow.
There is a better way to live: SURRENDER. Surrender the need to be perfect and liked while stating your views. Surrender you fear that money is the most important thing to acquire to solve your problems. Surrender your technology (right after you read this article) for a better and healthier relationship with God and family. 
Try to apply these 5 strategies to your life for a more stress-free, achievable life you have longed for. 

  1. Surrender your thoughts and feelings before a situation. 
How many times have you thought of a person in disgust that you will soon meet over the holidays or at the basketball game or at church? You know they are going to try and give you advice, gossip, ignore you or ‘top’ you. You know they will do all the annoying things they do because that is who they are. You sigh. You roll your eyes. And if your thoughts don’t stop there, they keep going the the negative direction and revisiting the bad situations.
Instead, surrender your thoughts and feelings to God before the situations occurs. Those negative thoughts easily pop into your mind from Satan, but you can decide before hand you won’t be offended and you will be gracious? 
2 Timothy 2:21, “Those who cleanse themselves from the latter [common use], will be instruments for special purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work.”
You cannot change them, but you can change your attitude. Choose to be an instrument for good, not a broken, bitter vessel that is so common these days. 

2. Surrender how other’s actions and words control your actions and words. 
How many times have you allowed someone else’s actions or words control you? Someone disagrees with you and you lash back. Someone says something to your kid and you start gossiping about that person. Someone lets you down. Someone does not keep a commitment. So, you start acting in a way that is ungodly and even hurtful in return. 
Newton came up with a law that says, “Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.” This might work in physics, but it is the exact opposite of what we are supposed to do as Christians.
Instead of allowing others to control your actions and words, surrender any word or action that offends you to the Lord. Let him deal with it. 
Romans 12:19, “Do not take revenge, my dear friend, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine of avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.” 
You cannot change others, but you can surrender any and all responses and give it to the Lord. Allow Him to deal with the offender so you can have less stress. 

3. Surrender selfishness. How many times have you just wanted what you wanted and you did not care about others? Many times on the show House Hunter, the wife is dead-set on what she wants. She does not care that it is way over their budget. She does not care that is puts a financial burden on the family that her husband and possibly herself will be responsible for paying. She does not care that she is not compromising. She puts her wants and desires first and she is rude, unrelenting and degrading to her husband. (I wonder if many of these couples are still married. I’m sure their is some bitterness and resentment.)
Instead, surrender selfishness to the Lord. Practice putting others first. 
Philippians 2:3-4, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather,in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”
Put yourself in their shoes when you are wanting your own way. It may be putting a burden on others you cannot see. 

4. Surrender your own way. 
How many times have you gotten yourself into a bad situation and then decided to try and pray yourself out of it? I know some people who wished they would have prayed about a relationship before they married. Now, they pray for help in the disaster. I know people who rushed into buying a home who wished they would have slowed down and prayed for guidance first. I know someone who went through a divorce, a home foreclosure, selling her car and furniture and cancer who admits if she would have prayed through it, it would not have been so hard.
2 Kings 22:13. Hilkiah the high priest found the book of the law in the decimated temple and gave it Shaphan to give to King Josiah. King Josiah tore his robe and said, “Inquire of the Lord about what is written in the book…Great is his anger because of the men who have gone before us have not obeyed the words in this book…”
Instead of doing life alone, your own way, discover that surrendering your way through prayer allows for God’s best in your life and keep you from crashing through some guardrails of consequence.  
5. Surrender the hurt others have caused.
How many times have you allowed your unforgiveness to eat at you; making you miserable? Many times the other person does not even know of the offense. You may even think that if you forgive them it is basically saying what they did was okay. 
Instead or harboring bitterness that rots the bones, free the other person and yourself. Forgiveness does not equal trust. But forgiveness can equal you treating others like the child of God they are.
Colossians 3:13, “Forgive one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

Instead of simmering in a pot of your own bitter stew, free yourself of the bondage of unforgiveness that only keeps you in chains. One of the best ways I know to do that is to pray for the other person daily. 

Friday, July 14, 2017

How to Make Your Plans Succeed

I heard our karate instructor, Rudy Smedley, say, "You have to have desire, will and motivation." This has a great application not only in Martial Arts, but also in life. I thought about that and pondered all the possibilities. I looked at it this way: My desire is my calling. My will is my plan. My motivation is my why.

1. Do I have desire (calling) but no motivation (why)?
2. Do I have motivation (why), but don't know my desire (calling)?
3. Do I have a will (plan), but no motivation (why)?
4. Do I have motivation, (why), but no will (plan)?
5. Do I have will (plan), but don't know my desire (calling)?
6. Do I have desire (calling), but no will (plan)?

I challenge YOU to rewrite these each statement with your calling, your why and your plan. It just might be what you need to jumpstart action in your life!

Ex. My calling/passion is to help struggling women because I see so much hurt, hiding, fear and guilt behind those eyes and in those actions and non-actions.

Ex. I want to help women Understand, Accept and Share their stories to heal and help others heal in similar situations because it is just natural for me. (I've been projecting this personality my whole life and could see that when I did my own Life Puzzle.)

Ex. I have a plan that involves allowing others to help me where I am weak so I can focus on what my calling/passion is because focusing on what is NOT my strengths just wastes my time and by allowing someone to help me blesses them and allows them to use their talent. Isn't that what Jesus talked about when he described the members of the church? Yes.

Let me hear your calling, plan and why! And remember,  Proverbs 19:21 "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails."

4 Reasons Why Fear Creates our Failure

*A boy you date is verbally or physically abusive, but you stay.You wear a mask saying it is not that bad.

*You want to keep a brand new relationship so you get intimate and go too far. You wear a mask thinking no one knows.

*Your boss totally misunderstood a situation and you get reprimanded, but you don't talk to him/her.You wear a mask of peace-maker over your hurt.

*An opportunity presents itself that your want to go for, but you are overtaken by what others think.You wear a mask called 'ordinary'.

*There is a workshop you want to attend, but you don't because you will 'put someone out' by watching your kids.You wear a mask saying your desires are not important.

*You do not feel like you are smart enough to offer advice or encouragement so you keep quite.You wear a mask of timidity.

*You never ask for prayers even when things are really difficult.You wear a mask of loneliness.

If we are honest, this thought process happens more often than we would like to admit. So many opportunities pass us by because we do not take the time to make intentional decisions.

Intentional decisions cannot be made during the situation. They have to be pondered, planned and prayed about before hand.

For some reason, when we make decisions in the heat of the moment, we choose the most comfortable route.

How does fear create failure?

1. Most often we are afraid to change and that means to stay doing what we have always done. That may not be pleasant, but it is comfortable in the fact that we know what to expect. However, that is failure. Failure to not stand up for ourself when we are being abused. Failure destroys more of our self-confidence every time we stay in a horrible situation. Failure when we are not vulnerable to ask for help. Failure is to think we can handle it without help. Chip. Chip. Chip away at our confidence. 

2. We don't say no because how others perceive you is more important than your schedule. Are you seen as dependable? You just can't say no to anyone because you don't want to disappoint or seem unavailable. However, the overwhelmed lifestyle you create is failure. You are not 100% in anything. You are sub-par in all you do because you are stretched too thin. Failure is saying yes to everything and neglecting important things. Those most important can feel neglected and that is a huge failure. Failure is priorities in the wrong order.

3. We also do not want to put effort into our life. Thinking about your response to situations is too much work so we rely on our reactions based on feelings in the moment. This sounds cliché, but do you ever put effort into thinking about What Would Jesus Do? Not what your rights are. Not what your feelings are, but immolating our Savior's character.

4. We do not take a risk because we feel like we are not supported. We feel as if those we love the most will make us feel like failures instead of teaming up with us and saying lets do this together. Failure is not communicating.

What are the specific reasons you fail? Can't communicate your feelings? Don't want to ask for help and look weak? Sometimes the reasons are so foggy you may not even know the real reason.

Do you wear a mask you need to take off?

Thursday, June 1, 2017

Fake It Until You Make It

Fake It Until You Make It 

What does that mean to you? I received a variety of different answers when I posted this question. 

1-One comment, “There is no need to fake it if you are good at what you do.”

2-Another said, “Act like you know what you're doing until you really do know what you're doing.”

3-Someone else said, “It is doing something that does not feel natural. Eventually we can learn it and it becomes natural.”

I believe ‘faking it’ is a Biblical principle that we ALL should strive for. Let me explain. 

I am referring to a specific Biblical perspective on faking it referring to Romans 12:2 “Do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” 

NOW, I don’t believe you should fake it so you look smart or don’t have to say, “I don’t know.” For example, my husband is highly respected because he does NOT fake it. When people ask him question about their animal he does not know, he tells them, “I don’t know, but I know someone who does and I will find the answer for you.” People respect him for that especially since it is related to the health of their animal. Owners don’t want him faking answers or doses to medications just to be seen as 'knowing all the answers'. That is pride. Others have done that and messed up royally! 

Biblically, what about forgiveness? What about speaking up in defense of the Lord? What about volunteering in a homeless shelter (or anywhere)? What about looking at someone in judgement? Should we only do these things AFTER we FEEL the emotion?

Should we only forgive after we feel forgiveness? Should we only speak up to defend the Lord when we feel comfortable doing so? Should we only agree to volunteer when we are totally comfortable? Should we only show NO judgment after we feel it for that person?

Short answer is NO. I believe we should fake it until we make it. Said another way…we should show it until our heart and mind catches up with our knowledge of what the Bible says we need to do in those situations. 

Knowledge is not action. But if we have the knowledge, we can act accordingly even if our heart really does not feel like it. 

We can be intentional in our actions and thinking and pray for the Lord to help our heart and mind feel the same. 

Isn’t that what the Bible talks about??  Romans 8:4 says we don’t live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. ONE PROBLEM: we live in the flesh! We are taught to consistently live for the Spirit while living in the flesh. If we are Christians looking and yearning for heaven, we are essentially living a fake life here on earth because we know our home is in heaven. 

Act contrary to the flesh…even if you don’t feel it; fake it and pray your heart will catch up. 

Do you think the woman felt forgiveness towards the boy who murdered her son? She was faking it first and then God gave her a beautiful relationship with this young man to where, BECAUSE SHE WAS OPEN TO GOD’S BLESSINGS, she felt like God gave her a son to replace the one lost. (this was a story on the news that I saw)

So, I’m not advocating faking anything for prides sake, but fake out Satan and act contrary to what he is bombarding you with in this world. Live like you are already in heaven even if you don’t feel like it! 

Fake it until you make it. God wants us to do things contrary to the flesh all the time. It is a very mature person who can act against what the world, society, his heart and his mind are telling him. 

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

God's Character in the Disasters

God gives you everything you need to understand what He is up to in the disasters of life if you open your mind to eternal possibilities. 

*God used 10 plagues to get Pharaoh's attention and show His power over nature. Many animals, crops and first born died.

*God used the big fish to get Jonah's attention for a big job He wanted him for.

*God allowed Job to be tested. His whole family died. His crops were ruined and his body was covered in boils.

*There are current disasters in the world. Children getting bombed at a concert. Tornados ripping houses and families apart. Two children die in a hot car in Texas. 

You have the choice to decide what you focus on in each circumstance. 

*Do you focus on what seems like injustice instead of the deliverance of God's people from the Egyptians. God had a plan.

*Do you focus on the horrible conditions Jonah faced instead of the second chance he was given? God had a plan.

*Do you focus on the loss Job endured instead of his restoration?

*Do you focus on current disasters instead of helping? Do you step up to pray, put on some gloves and travel 100 miles to get dirty and carry someone's burden? (are you like Jonah)

There is one huge difference in the Bible examples and now...We know the complete story in the Bible stories and can see and know how they worked for good. We cannot see or know the blessings that the horrible circumstances bring forth in our present situations. 

There is one huge similarity in the the Bible examples and now...God never changes his character and all work for the good of those who love him.

God is good even in trials. 
Trials are YOUR test to see if you will step up, pray and engage.
Non-Christinas think Christianity is about having no problems and when we do, they think it is not working so why try that.
Trials make you closer to God (if you allow it).

How will you help your family see God in trials?
How will you help the woman or man at work with struggles?
How can you alleviate burdens?
How can you help someone who feels left out?
What sins can you confess?

Help others heal by using your story.

Friday, February 24, 2017

Three Parts of a Successful Business

What Leg of the Business Tripod Model are You?

I have a little orange dog with only three legs. Let’s just say he likes the neighbor’s chickens. Since his mishap, he has had to learn to do things differently. His front legs and back legs do not have the same functions. His back leg supports him when he squats. It looks very funny now. It is also the leg he uses to propel himself on the couch or into our arms. Is has become harder for him. His back leg would not work if he did not have a front leg to support him. His front legs help balance him. If he lost one more leg, no matter which one it was, he would have no balance and not be able to walk at all. (This is really my dog in the summer when we shave him.)

Business is that way. It has three parts and cannot survive without all three. The three pieces are: the Producer, the Marketer and the Finance Manager. Some people love to produce programs and emails and enticing offers and visual aids and all the parts to an actuall product. The Marketer can take that product and loves to create ads and funnels and bit.lys and all the components of a launch...the Tech person. The Finance Manager can help the other two decide where and when to put money into ads, avoid bad risk and hang on in good risk. 

It is very rare that a person has all three of these qualities together in their own being. That would be like saying you are all the personality types rolled into one.   

How many of you to conferences or buy programs or watch webinars on a topic that you struggle with and still feel frustrated afterwards? 

Maybe you never look at the notes and material ever again. Maybe you look at it but it looks like fuzzy and don’t apply it. Maybe you try to apply it, but when troubles pop up you are lost and don’t know how to fix it and don’t know who to ask.

My suspicion is, you are trying to learn something contrary to your skill set, your personality, your God-given gifts and your character. Are you trying to be more than one leg of the a tripod?

Knowing what leg you are on the tripod helps you to accomplish those things you are best at!! You could be just okay in another area, but I suspect you struggle, it takes longer and it frustrates you.

If you are unclear about your gift and skill set, let me help you find how you are wired. 

For $60 and 1hour of your time, I will help you get clarity on whether you are a Producer, a Marketer or a Financial Manager. PLUS: Six Myths about Business that will Change your Mindset

One of the worst ideas to come from the Women’s movement is the idea that women can do everything by themselves to appear equal, powerful, successful and happy. Sorry, ladies, but if that were true, we would all have millions of dollars because we would be adept in all three areas of business; we would have perfect families, our house would be clean all the time and life would be rosy.  I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANY WOMAN OR MAN BE SUCCESSFUL WITHOUT HELP IN THEIR WEAK AREAS. The most successful people…all of them…have a team.

Let’s talk to help you figure out which part of the team you are, which part you need and how to put them all together. 

I created the written article in 10 minutes. I know I am a Producer who Encourages goal setting to reach your target.  It took me another 10 minutes to find my dog pic and post this. My tech skills are weak. That is why I have help in that area! 

Let’s chat.
Erin E. McEndree

PM me or call 817-992-3177

Untangle Biblical and Worldly Perspectives

So many issues! So many opinions! So many quarrels! One thing in common: Biblical and Worldly perspectives all tangled up. It is i...