When writing, I have to remember this truth: my readers only see what is on the page about me but there are many facets to my character and personality. Sometimes I forget that when I get a comment that expresses something I did not think about. That is because I write with my experiences in mind and reader read with their experiences in mind. Experiences guide our thoughts and actions differently. And even though we should all filter our experiences through the Word of God, we can still come up with different thoughts and ways to act...neither of them wrong, just different. It also has a lot to do with the motives behind our actions.
Sometimes I might write a blog that is a downer. I guess I should also write that I don't live 'down there', but I do visit occasionally which makes me want to try harder to not stay in the wallow, but rise to the promises of God. I assure you, just as Paul spoke of his weakness and struggle, I also spoke of mine, but they do not rule in my life nor in my heart.
I'll tell you a secret: I feel like I have to hold my joy back when I am at church and when I visit with people. I am aware I could talk too much. I even stop myself from sharing in class because I love to talk about what the Holy Spirit has taught me in my studies. Like I said before, I have different facets and people only see what is on the outside. Many probably don't know I'm battling inside to let everyone have a turn and not dominate a conversation. Every Sunday my goal is to ask more questions than tell statements.
Talking about my struggles should do two things: help others who are going through it too, help me identify them and pray for strength to get past them. However, I realize that if God can use my struggle to help others, he won't take it from me...just like Paul, and I'm ok with that.
I also believe that if I don't visit my struggles and juggle and battle with them, I will become stagnant. I realize God is in control and I give my struggles to Him, but I also believe I have a part. My part is to press to the goal. To train my body and get it whipped into a righteous submission...like Paul says. If I flutter through life and never visit what I need to change and try to change it, I feel as if my love for God is cold. For me personally, I need to be showing God my love for him by changing what I place in front of Him, or trying to. Jesus showed his love for me in a most awful way that I should have been subjected to. Instead, He took the consequence from me. For that, I try daily to rid myself of all the yuck and sacrifice my rights, my comforts, my pleasures and my reputation if need be, to glorify Him.
Don't get me wrong, I never get it right, but I will try as long as I live to show Him to others and be worthy of the inheritance...which I know I already have thanks to the blood.
So, be assured, I don't live in the negative, but I visit there sometimes to better myself, help others and realize I am set free from all that! That might be a facet I don't show very often, but I do have those that don't shine very brightly.
I do know people who live in their struggles. It saddens me that their joy for God and relationship with Jesus is not strong enough to make them happy, happy, happy...at least some of the time. I know everyone has seasons, but to live there would be horrible, I think. And I realize they have different facets of their life, too. But aren't we told that what is inside our heart, manifest itself on the outside? Someone who is always negative and always down makes me pray for the joy of Salvation to take over their heart.
Don't live in the negative. Just visit there to keep yourself in perspective and realize what Jesus has saved you from. Blessings!
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